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Old 08-25-2011, 04:16 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
...'of course androphobia is evil, but it might help to understand where it was coming from'
Don't want to pick nits, but phobia by definition can not be evil; "misandry" is evil as is any political ideology that is based on hatred and demonization of a demographic group. I have a similar problem with the term homophobia, btw, but my Greek is exhausted at trying to think of an alt term.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
...'of course heterophobia is evil, but it might help...etc'
Yup, again, political ideology that justifies hatred of any group based on their sexual orientation, whatever it might be, fuelled by re-living the real or imagined wrongs members of this group have committed, is evil.

(I think heterophobia/homophobia as terms don't trigger me as much as androphobia/gynophobia, because someone might legimitely have a severe fear of members of a given gender because of traumatic events in the past; I have a difficulty imagining a situation where a similar response might be caused by straight/bi/gay population - but wrangling over terms here.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
The thing that was special about the book, The Sceptical Feminist, was that the author applied the idea of equal standards for both the sexes (or both genders).
Which book?

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
I find what was said to my then gf to be as offensive as any homophobic remark inspired by politics: the fact that the politics is radical rather than conservative is no excuse for hate politics.
Of course not. And one can be a radical conservative, too I guess.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
I wonder if you are able, as The Sceptical Feminist was, to 'those kind of remarks were wrong', before also making the valid points that you understand where they came from, and as well as pointing out the good that came in parallel..
Yeah, sorry. I think I was trying to avoid stating the obvious and thus made you feel like your experiences were belittled.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
Are you able to say that, however understandable in the political context of Autumn 1974, that was a Bad Thing to say to someone?.
Sure. People murder others all the time - I would still, as a pacifist, feel offended if somebody called me a murderer even though it's would be blatantly untrue (well, not necessarily, if we consider all life forms equally).

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
Can you see, though, that there is some justice there as well?
Yep, but being right and being happy are sometimes incompatible. If those ladies have not and will not apologize to you and to your then-gf, carrying that bitterness around will probably have little positive effect on anyone concerned.

It took me years to let go of the anger I felt for being abused, something the abusers still fail to acknowledge ever happened. I also read an interesting article on Christian peace-building, where the author pointed out that reconcialition does not equal forgiveness, something I'm not entirely sure I know what to think of.

I think what I'm trying to say is that you don't necessarily have to forgive the women who hurt you, especially since they are unlikely to apologize to you, in order to achieve peace with yourself. I used to think forgiveness is necessary to letting go of bitterness - now I'm not entirely sure anymore.

Anyway, nice to see other Quakers around !
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