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Old 08-25-2011, 04:12 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
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So things have been going well. It's really nice to have hubs home. This week has been a busy beeyatch of a week, though. Once the weekend hits things will calm WAY down, so very much looking forward to that!

I've been a bit under the weather this week as well. :-( Probably from the busyness of the past month as well as not as much sleep and a bit too much partying this past weekend.

But, I should be all good by next week, just in time for vacay, so that's all that matters!!

I think I'm going to be on the board a little less for a while. Not because hubs is home, but for a lot of other reasons. When I signed up, it was to do some work on myself, to expand my ideas of what was possible by reading other people's stories, and to get some perspective. I'd been nonmonogamous for quite a while, but it had been in limited bursts and no real experience with long term arrangements. I needed to get myself back into the mindset and figure out a few things.

I've found a lot of people on here that I identify with, and quite a few whom I don't! One thing, though, is that although there are some people I disagree with on a regular basis, it does cause me to think hard about what I feel, what I believe and what I need for MYSELF, so that's been a great thing.

Hubs and I have a lot of figuring out to do about us as a couple. There are some really deep issues that need to be handled-- or at least explored and talked about-- so that we know what's going on with each other. And communication needs to be strengthened, so that we CAN talk about these things without all of the reactionary bullshit that can happen. In my heart I truly feel that this stuff needs to be focused on before we bring any more people into the midst (more than are already there anyway!). I'm hoping hubs sees it that way as well, we will see.

So for now, I'm not actively seeking another partner-- for now. I will remain open to the people around me, and am not closing off that option, though. I had a little interesting moment last week when I realized I had a little crush on one of the guys in my class at school. This is the first class I've had with him and I won't have any others since the rest of the group is on a different track that I just hopped into for this one class. Nothing will likely come of it as we only have one more class before we're done. But it was nice to feel that feeling again. That attraction for somebody, when you learn things about them and realize you like what you see. I don't feel that often--which sometimes sucks, but that's just me. But I see that the possibility is there, in some way, and it works much better when it happens organically and isn't forced.

And I am thinking that for a while it might be good for me to not be hanging out here all of the time. While the information I've gained has been awesome, and I've met some cool people, I need to focus on my own relationship and where it is.

I'm sure I'll still stop by and check, but for now I need to get away from the computer and jump back into real life.
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