Originally Posted by Carma
Oh shit, that's Sundance's stance.
Butch and I can't say I love you, but HIS new GF tells him she loves him, all the time.
(I have NO IDEA if he's told her. He says he hasn't but he's lied about some other things, so who knows?)
Annabel's point about forbidden fruit is a great one, too. We've experienced that, all across the board! Whenever one puts up a boundary, it seems the other one is obsessed with rubbing right up next to it! Example, even in the "I love you" case -- Sundance claims
he's said to her, "I love everything about you," but hasn't said "I love you." Crazy, right?! I believe he is lying to me, and the reason is, because it is so important to him that I not say it to Butch. He is afraid anything he does with her, gives me equal license to do it with Butch.
Didn't mean to get off track on your OP, kid -- I know you're not experiencing this kind of issue right now. But forbidden fruit can be maddening, and I hope her husband will realize that!
I also feel strongly about this question Annabel poses: "Does he really want to deal with his wife's depression and resentment if she loses you because you can't take it any more?" This is big.