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Old 08-25-2011, 03:16 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
I marvel at the self-control -- but I do find it loving and honorable. Don't you?
Yeah, like I said, I find it marvellous. More than I think I would be capable of, worthy of admiration.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
Who's to say it's a bad prognosis, if this man is willing to restrain his physical urges out of deep respect for this woman and her marriage?
I was referring to a bad prognosis in general for the combination of the following;
1) Very strict boundaries that are enforced for unlimited duration and;
2) Constant physical proximity

I think it creates a situation where the secondary sees the love and affection freely flowing between the primary couple while being prohibited from enjoying that flow themselves, and 9 times out of 10, that creates envy and bitterness in the long run. The prognosis for continued emotional health and fulfillment isn't very good in this scenario IMHO.

It's not simply a matter of containing physical urges; to me, this situation is akin to somebody saying; "Yes, you are allowed to date my partner, but never ever say, in word or text, that you love them. It is okay to feel that but never to say that. That needs to be preserved for our primary relationship and for that alone."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
But, kidsoul, if you go too long without being able to express the love you long to give in physical ways, you may find yourself really hurting. There may come a day when you have to make a tough decision. If the husband doesn't ease up, and she accepts his boundaries, then you may have to honestly say, "I need more. If I can't exchange love with you, I may need to move on to someone I can exchange love with, at a level that is healthy for me."
You expressed my point better than I did .
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