Originally Posted by CheesyLady
We had been missing some sparks at home...I had found other things to do to occupy my time and he continues to not feel important...I got tired of waiting/being ignored.
He honestly reminded me of some of my favorite things of Mr. Cheesehead when we first met.
I had been bringing all that energy home, and things for Mr. Cheesehead and I finally seemed to be working. Spark came and seemed to hit us both like a brick. We were having lots of fun and finally happy that things were not so heavy, labored, and hard.
For the last I don't know how many months, I'd been feeling that I in fact had a lot of love and passion to give, and nowhere to go with it. From all of our bad times Mr. Cheesehead built up so many walls that I couldn't get through... At the same time I feel like our whole life has been over-analyzed and really just wanted to play and have fun. I read somewhere, "I'm married, not dead!"...
I ask a question, get maybe half of a response, something needs to be done, so I feel I have to decide myself.
...when I'm asked, "Why did you marry me?" I can't remember. Like he said, the american dream has not been for us and every picture outside of our first 5-6 months seems to have a fight associated with it. I'm married, not dead. I do want to have fun, but it scares me a bit that it takes an additional outside source of energy for us to work properly.
There seems to be a lot of trouble in your marriage, and it won't go away with poly.
It's good to hear the relationship with the co-worker came to nothing, because honestly, with this many issues, I don't think your relationship with Mr. Cheesehead would have survived.
How is that councelling coming along?