I understand where Minxxa is coming from, too. I know NRE can be crazy, and can really hurt. I was trying to shine the positive light on things, but that in no way negates the fact that it can be quite awful, too. (I just found myself on the other side of it, recently, so I have had a few rude awakenings, eek!) Poly is such a roller coaster sometimes.
Hey, CheesyLady, how cool you came here to share, too. Welcome
. I can relate to some of your story. Especially the puddle jumping, ha! Sundance tends to be very protective too, and I think marriage can get so practical, by necessity, the everyday routines and responsibilities.... It can be so refreshing to have someone who is outside of that parameter. I love not being obligated to each other -- so different. But I love my commitment to my husband, too!
I tend to overanalyze the hell out of everything, so for me it is a constant battle to keep things in perspective. But maybe that's why poly is for me -- I thrive on this craziness, I guess. Even my husband says he would probably be bored with someone more stable/predictable! Am I "too crazy" for him? Well, maybe that's for him to decide. I have to just focus on being the real me -- and the biggest part of that is being honest. It sounds like you are doing that painful work, too.
I think marriage comes with a whole ton of expectations. It seems that in today's world, we are all struggling to define/re-define what marriage really is or should be. What is it that we really want? What will work best? And is there really ONE model that fits for everyone? I cannot imagine that to be true! That's why I really love this forum. It is full of people courageous enough to say, this is how I feel, this is how I am living my life, this is my vision, my fantasy, I am trying something new, I am daring to question, to dream.... Lots of creativity here. We are all Love Artists.