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Old 08-25-2011, 02:06 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kidsoul View Post
Eight months later...While we do spend time alone together, the current rules limit us to holding hands and hugging.
Gut reaction; eight months is a really long time to be holding hands with someone you love.

Honestly, not a single kiss during this entire time? And weekly one-on-one dates? I marvel your self-control.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kidsoul View Post
She's going to talk with her husband about re-evaluating our boundaries next month. Part of me is elated at the prospect of being able to communicate and sharing my love for her in a more physical manner. But the other part wonders, won't the pain and anguish I feel just get moved to another boundary (oh yes, you can kiss her, but don't touch her here or there).
Why next month, why not now?

Frankly, the prognosis isn't very good. You write that the opening up of her marriage was difficult. Did the three of you at any point, while making and agreeing to the boundaries/rules, discuss a schedule?

Did you in the beginning of the relationship imagine the two of you still only holding hands after eight months? Is that what you signed up for? What if next month, you are allowed to kiss her? Will you be content with that for another nine months? What if he sees the two of you kissing, decides he can't cope and goes back on a boundary? Will you be able to contain yourself for an unspecified amount of time, just kissing, unsupervised, in love?

Very strict boundaries that are enforced "for now" seem to lead into frustration and/or cheating. I understand the gratitude you feel for her husband for even considering this, and since you and especially your SO are the "bad guys" here, having broken the monogamous promise she gave to her husband, it might feel like you really are in no position to make demands. But at some point, you will have to start considering your own emotional health.
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