Originally Posted by leslie
Thank you, that was helpful.
I agree that micromanaging is destructive. Interesting idea to let go and trust. How do you do that? It is a mystery to me how people can trust one another. I have been so hurt in the past, I have a lot of healing to do. I am not really sure that Polyamory is filling my needs. I think intellectually, I am totally on board, but my emotional state is pretty fragile.
Trust comes from a foundation of saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and doing it.
There may be some miscommunication between you and your h. There may be a case of him not seeing what a big deal it is to you to "up the level of intimacy" without talking to you about it first. Certainly, if you are struggling, you have to tell him. He can't possibly be sensitive to what you are feeling if he has to guess what you are feeling--none of us are born mind readers, and men are stereotypically horrible
at getting hints (hint, hint!).