It was more or less the way she would tell me one thing when we were alone then how I would feel when we were out around friends and it would seen much more casual. We were talking about of futures and things we want, how the other would fit in. So at that point I decided that this would be a step in the right direction. I couldn't handle talking like this then getting out and hearing oh this is the guy I am seeing. I know when I used that before it was because I wasn't into the person I am with. Also it is starting to get up there in time, it will be 6 months by time I leave and almost a year by time I am back. Did deployments before where everything was up in the air. Almost didn't come back. Gotta have your head on right. Reasons why she held off for so long was because she wanted to make sure I understood what it meant in a poly sense and also she doesn't really like placing those titles on relationships. During that time she would tell me, "I am as committed as I can be to you. I want to be with you, I care for you, I am falling for you, I will be torn apart if you leave, I just can't commit to you as you would expect in a mono sense". After talking about it, this meant the same thing. She just didn't want me to be thinking in a mono sense of the words boyfriend/girlfriend. I know he is LDR, but there is a always a chance that things change and she finds someone closer and I have to learn to deal. I like to hear peoples stories and what they went through. I have an extremely vivid imagination. My dreams are life like to the point of hearing voices, tastes, smells...etc Yes I know these are really just sensors in my mind firing but like I said. Life like. I also know that if I concentrate at the end of the night on a story I have read, I can live it in my dreams. It allows me to to gauge reactions, then when I wake up I can go through it again in my mind and start to break things down and learn what I need to do to limit my reactions. I know this is strange but it helps.
Last edited by Allstar; 08-24-2011 at 10:57 PM.