Pointing out a double standard isn't the same as trying to start a fight. Maybe he really hasn't thought of it that way. It's really damaging to feel like you're a secret... both emotionally AND physically!! This is just the first article I found but I've seen other stuff about this out there before: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-relationships
He doesn't need to come out to his stuffy boss or his conservative grandma, but he needs to begin coming out to his close friends and, ideally, his close family as well. Otherwise you will always be worrying about how you express yourself lest someone find out the secret, and as generations of tortured closet case queers can tell you, that's a miserable path. He's doing you both more harm than he knows, and he needs to see that, whether or not it starts a fight.