View Single Post
Old 08-24-2011, 08:35 PM
Idlovetwo Idlovetwo is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 19
Unhappy Help

Hi friends, here I am again. I am back near Jan for a few weeks, after spending almost two months with Carl. You may think Jan would have the hardest time in this, but actually Skype has worked reasonably well

Actually, I think it's Carl who doesn't know how to handle this. As he was already going out with Paula, his friends and family already knew her, and they have no idea there was another girlfriend (me) in the distance. Moreover, people knew them as a traditional mono couple some two years back, and all they can see is that they are back together. It seems they haven't explained to anybody that it's different now.

So, now that I've moved near them, Carl dedicates equal time to both of us (not together though, I don't see her much), BUT , he doesn't want to introduce me as his girlfriend or anything. It turns out that we can't hold hands, we can't do anything when we are with other people.

Of course I've tried to let him know I don't feel comfortable with this, but he sticks to "it's nobody's business". Okay, so you have two relationships, one is nobody's business and the other is everybody's business? I don't get it. Then again, I can't say these words to him, because fighting leads nowhere, and also because -golden rule-, whatever you do, don't compare relationships. But it's there. He feels comfortable, looking mono to the world. I don't.

As I insist, now he is telling me he needs time to "transition" to the new situation. Ok, that's better than nothing. But the worst thing is that people will probably start to figure out, and will think we are cheating on "his girlfriend". I don't know how long the "transition" will take for him, but I can't go on like this for much longer. Pretending, or hiding away, is not what I'm looking for.

It's good that I won't be with him for a few weeks, we all need to think.

Any ideas...?
Make new lovers, but keep the old.
Those are silver, these are gold.

Last edited by Idlovetwo; 08-24-2011 at 08:40 PM.
Reply With Quote