Originally Posted by ClariceK
...As a psychology student and honestly to be truthful, being diagnosed Bipolar at age 14, and being very intelligent, I have been studying psychology since then pretty much, I know that I need to cut ties with my therapist. I know that I give him WAY too much power then he should have in my life and mind because when I started seeing him 10 years ago I needed a therapist with that much power...
ClariceK..."off-topic" comment here: I am someone who has experienced and been treated for clinical depression for years....and I'm also an outpatient therapist. While I like that you take responsibility for giving your therapist WAY too much power, your THERAPIST has a professional responsibility to be in better control of your sessions. For him to allow you to talk about what you learned in class week after week for the bulk of your session is not professionally responsible in my book. I realize therapeutic styles differ....but therapeutic relationships can become "co-dependent" and a therapist can "enable" someone to stay stuck in the very behaviors they came to change. You intellectualize about transference and countertransference....yet that is HIS responsibility to identify it and work it out...not yours! That's what you pay him for.
I can identity to some degree because I went to a male psychiatrist for awhile and got caught up in a similar dynamic. He was extremely charismatic and charming. He stroked my personal and professional ego in lots of ways. I was used to giving my power over to men in authority positions. I wanted them to "like me"...to affirm for me that I was an ok person. (The affirmation I never got from my father....ahhhh Freud is alive and well! LOL) The BEST thing I ever did for myself was to walk away from him....and never go back. I didn't tell him I was quitting. I didn't try and explain it to him, because that would just feed into the dysfunction and co-dependency in the relationship. I hired him as a professional, not a friend. He wasn't meeting my therapeutic needs. So I "fired" him. I didn't owe him an explanation. I had to stop worrying so much about how it would affect him....and start fighting for what was best for ME. If he was an ethical professional he would have been happy for me that I finally had the courage to do what was in my best interest with no regard for him. I have no idea what he thought. I never went back to ask. Was it easy?? Hell no!! Was it in my best interest? Hell yes!! I have NEVER regretted the decision.
Please....take good care of yourself.....