Originally Posted by Longing
I feel like I have to "accept" this because it will not ever just go away like he said. It's accept or divorce in my mind and I don't like my choices.
it's not what I married into or choose for my life. I tried to go with it for him and couldn't. Failed miserably in fact! I'm just really at a loss that I am here again.
Divorce isn't always the worst thing that can happen. Emotionally wrenching, sure, but freedom to be who you are and create the life you want is bliss. It can be the worst thing any couple can do, to "stay married for the kids." Like it would be better for children to live in a home where the parents are at odds with each other and unhappy. Pshaw. Children are resilient.
Your husband has been exhibiting rather strange and questionable behavior. The miraculously appearing condom in his wallet makes me wonder if he's actually gone out and cheated on you, risking disease. If you feel like you will never be happy in this situation, you may well consider a separation or divorce, for your own mental well-being and safety.