Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
My first response to the "sending" you to another man's house thing was the same as everyone else's -- how messed up! My second reaction was to think wait, it's not like people own their partners, it's not like you had to go, so why does he get the action verb (he "sent" you) versus highlighting your role in the action (he convinced you and you chose to go despite your misgivings)? Did he coerce you, or did you go along without letting him know the extent of your discomfort? Make sure you're owning your choices here. I don't mean to make you feel bad, what you described sounded really sad.
I see what youre saying. Let me clarify:
I was going to our friends house to ask questions regarding open relationships. He is in one. My intention in going was to talk with someone other than my dh who would give solid "for" arguments. As I left was when dh told me to try being with him as a "trial" for myself. My dh was all huggy/kissy saying for me to try it out. It totally put a different emphasis on my trip and upset me but it wasn't the time to bring it all up to him right then as I was walking out.
Ultimately, it felt as though my intentions were to seek support in a friend and his were to send me on a test run.