Originally Posted by River
The model is friendship rather than resource or ownership. I don't possess my dear Kevin, nor FarawaySweetheart. Nor would I wish to! They are free agents in their own lives, and we come together because we enjoy one another. Period.
Mature, sensible people do not insist to their close friends that they have no other close friends, right?! That's crazy talk! So why do/should "we" expect this of our lovers? It is a form of madness. It really isn't very loving.
I completely agree. My perception of the culture of compulsory monogamy is that it is all about cutting off relationships, rather than fostering them. Not only is it unloving of your partner, but (and especially) of the wider community. I sometimes lurk in mainstream love advice forums... because I can't take my eyes away from the train wreck. All the advice (when it's not about your obligation to snoop in your partner's phone records and e-mail) is about how to stop
caring for, stop
feeling for, stop
fostering intimacy with, anyone other than your partner. The world of the typical "taken" monogamist must be awful internal torture, always vigilant for developing caring feelings for others--- so that when they do arise they can be instantly obliterated. No wonder the world is such a harsh and lonely place.
Originally Posted by ladyslipper
It's a polite way of "slut-shaming"