It seems to me that the person you were talking to approaches the fundamental aspects of monogamy and polyamory in a different way than I do. Both are valid but make understanding each other difficult. For me, monogamy and polyamory are no different than being gay or straight...they are products of who I am and how I function internally...they have very little to do with how I act.
I think he sees monogamy as a set of rules for having relationships where I see it as merely an identifier to how we form romantic bonds one at a time.
Take our relationship for example: I love you monogamously but I will never feel like you could love me monogamously. Maybe you could conduct a relationship in a monogamous way but your ability to romantically love more than me simultaneously will always be present....therefore you will always be polyamorous regardless of your relationship structure.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over