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Old 08-23-2011, 10:32 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I have to say that should anybody try to micromanage my dates in any fashion, that would be the end of any relationship with that person.

My wife wants to dictate what I can and can't do on a date with somebody else? I'm filing for divorce the following business day. Homey don't play that game. I don't provide schedules and itineraries nor play-by-play descriptions. I certainly don't need permission as to how I engage in my other relationships.
Wow, really? If miss pixi tells me she is going on a date with someone new and it's for dinner out, I expect her to have dinner out! I'd be quite upset if she spent the evening in instead. And I'm experienced in poly. At the very least I'd want a text from her telling me the plans had changed. And leslie and her h are just trying this for the first time. Once the relationship is established and everyone is cool, then of course, things can be more flexible.

Quote:
It seems that my husband keeps misunderstanding exactly what we have agreed to and pushes the boundaries, then acts like he couldn't possibly have known that it would bother me.
We talk about communication and boundaries all the time here. If your dh really doesnt understand why you need a certain boundary, he may find it too restrictive and keep pushing the envelope.

You say you have trouble trusting anyone. If you're really emotionally fragile around this issue, for a number of reasons, you may need to work on that, even get therapy for it. But meanwhile, have you let your h know your general feelings about (not) trusting anyone?

Try reading around the links on this site

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolycommunication.html

And keep reading here. Do a tag search on jealousy, and mono/poly.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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