i have to totally agree with everything you are saying
i think its really difficult to find someone that both partners will fall in love with equally, every relationship is diffrent and unique and i think putting any structure on things will limit the natural progression,
we have never looked for a third,
but then we don't really have a lot of rules, rather than rules and structure we just keep talking and comunicating about the way things are devoping and see how we feel as the develop, this freedom means that we are spending less time stressing about things not fitting the way we might have expected and just letting it be
at the moment it developing into a V, between me and my 2 guys
but possibily a third guy and im not sure what that would be, a W lol?