Originally Posted by nycindie
When I say I do not identify as polyamorous, I mean that I don't see people as wired that way. I'm just saying that I choose to live polyamorously. That's all. I disagree that polyamory is something you identify as, like a gender or sexual orientation. Human beings have a wide capacity for relating to each other, and whether or not they are more aligned with polyamory or monogamy has to do with culture, societal conditioning, their belief systems, and how their personalities have developed. I simply see polyamory as a relationship structure and a practice, and I am a human being who strives to live polyamorously.
nycindie summed it up for me.
This is what i wanted to write and it's also why i think it's hard to ask or talk about a poly community. Although it's viewed negatively in US society, I don't think it has the same pull of bringing folks together as other identities because of what she noted. And, for me, just because someone practices polyamory doesn't mean that I will have anything in common with them beyond that. We can see this in the diversity of practices associated with it here and also the claims for territory of the words itself. I'm not trying to say that there aren't and can't be communities among people who are polyamorous, but they're not natural. The idea of going to a poly festival or gathering doesn't appeal to me at all, but I'd be inclined to go out with a group of poly folks who I meet who I have other things in common with as well as being poly.