Originally Posted by leslie
As newcomers to poly we agreed to take things very slowly, it is what suited both of us.
Hmm, well, since your husband keeps pushing the boundaries and then doesn't understand where the problem is when you feel hurt, I would think that either he doesn't really agree to them as much as you think, may not be clear about what the boundaries are, or that the boundaries are excessively restrictive.
I understand that you want things to move slowly so that you can handle it, but maybe there's a different way to do that than micromanaging his dating activities. I do think it's a good and productive thing to address your insecurities in therapy, but maybe you have to let go a bit and trust.