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Old 08-22-2011, 09:16 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,055

Originally Posted by JenAgain View Post
He feels the same way about me as I do about him, but he's afraid to commit 100% when he knows in a few months (hubby of course is deployed which is so not ideal in this situation), that it will go down to 50%. He's afraid to get in too deep.

He said, and he's right "the fact will always remain that Drew is your husband and him and your family will always come first". I can't argue with that.
First of all, when someone commits to a relationship it can only be 100%. There's no such thing as committing halfway. You either do or you don't.

What he would need to reconcile himself with, however, is that he'd be committing 100% toward a relationship that is just not conventional. He would have to understand that you have a husband and children which would limit your time, but not necessarily your ability to love. When he said to you that your hubs and family will always come first, it sounds like a lament. That is troublesome, I think. He may not be able to handle being in a polyamorous situation, and might wind up wishing he could steal you away. You may want to consider just embarking on a FWB arrangement with him, knowing that he is afraid to invest any emotional commitment. And then you just need to be careful and guard your own heart.
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