Originally Posted by Carma
But he keeps saying he doesn't love her. He downplays everything. Is that to spare my feelings? She is obviously getting the impression that she means something more to him!!! I know he has lied to her. So how can I believe he isn't lying to me, too???.
THIS. This is what he needs to hear. That he is eroding your trust in him by lying and sneaking and downplaying things so that you get one impression when maybe that's not true. Trust is so important and once it's broken it's tough to get back and it's never quite the same.
Maybe part of the reason you're having so much difficulty now isn't so much being on the other side of things, as the fact that you're unsure of what's going on, you are not being able to trust he says what he means, and when you ask him to do/not do things he's ignoring you and pushing every boundary. Maybe if he was straight up honest, told you and her what was going on, respected your requests it would be a different story?