Originally Posted by celiset
I have noticed that most if not all the people on this "New to Polyamory" category are those who have initiated the poly lifestlyle for themselves. I can try to look harder, but haven't seen anyone who is trying to adjust to being poly because their partner wanted it, or to put in somewhat harsher terms, because their partner "dragged them into it".
I say that tongue in cheek by the way, and also because I can't really think of any other words to put it in.
So maybe people like me, the partners of poly-curious people, are rare to initiate this type of dialogue in the first place? Anyway, just thinking out loud now.
Hi Celiset, welcome (belatedly) to the forum. I'm one of those people who originally came to polyamory because of the desires of my partner, and I'm by no means rare here on the boards. Look a little deeper, and I know you'll find plenty of others.
If your interested in my story, you can find it at http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...=4518#post4518
. Be warned though, it's no fairy tale, and we're still working on the happily ever after.
(Slight hijack: I've been thinking about it recently, and I find it interesting and odd that even though opening our lives to poly was completely Hubby's idea, at this point I'm far and away more poly-oriented than he is. )
My advice to you, and to anyone considering polyamory, is to read all you can on it, deeply consider all you learn and incorporate what seems right and true for you. This forum has been extremely valuable to me, and I know you will find many wise, compassionate and caring poly people here.
Approach every situation with love and respect for all concerned, because you never know what will trigger a sensitive spot in the relationship(s). And when you've identified a sensitive area, talk it out. Talk and talk and talk some more. Give that shit so much light and air that flowers blossom up out of it!
Best of luck to you, and to your ex-bf. I wish for ya'll th best possible outcome, whatever that may be.