Originally Posted by MorningTwilight
My son, of course, knows that something is up, but does not know what. I don't know what to tell him.
What your son is feeling right now is a lot of upheaval. With the impending move and the sense that something is going on with Mommy and Daddy, plus the new and strange hormones racing through his system... well, he's gonna be pretty confused.
He's fearing a loss of security. You, as his parent, need to continue to focus on reassuring him that you love him no matter what. That you're going to continue to be there for him. Send regular pictures. Get him used to the new city. Then to the new house/apartment. Have him send a few things ahead to set up in his room.
You also need to include reassurances similar to how parents speak to kids after a divorce. This is not to say that you're divorcing... just that the conversation is similar. "Mommy and Daddy love you very much. I know we're fighting a lot now. We live in different states and you don't see me very much. I'm still your Daddy. Mommy is still your Mommy. Our life looks different now than it did 6 months ago. Our life will look different 6 months from now too. I know these transitions are hard." Ask for his questions and keep asking - some early teens are not terribly forthcoming.
Even if he just grunts at you, you need to keep talking to him and reassuring his security.