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Old 08-22-2011, 07:21 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Someone told me awhile back that they considered poly fidelity the same as monogamy.
That strikes me as very odd. It also strikes me as a very stupid thing to say. It shows a complete lack of understanding of what monogamy is, which understandably leads to having no clue as to what polyamory is.

To him poly is determined by the freedom to have sexual partners whenever it suited him and without regard to anyone else.
Oh, my. I suspect this is what comes of greater visibility due to efforts to gain greater acceptance. The more people learn about poly, the more people there will be trying to attach the term to any old thing they do.

Did you explain to him what he was talking about is called "open" and is only ethical if his existing partners agree to it?

Is this a common thought in the community?
I imagine not. I suspect there will be more people showing up with nonsense of this sort because they think associating themselves with polyamory provides cover for what they do. I also suspect they'll get disabused of the nonsense before long and as our visibility increases even more, other people can figure out the nonsense isn't actually what poly is about.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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