Legion, no need to apologize for the long reply! I actually appreciated it.
Maybe you *should* write a book!
I read your other post as well and think your story is very interesting. I think it helps to hear other people's stories and have something newbies can try to relate to.
I don't feel like I am *that* jealous either, especially since my boyfriend and I have such a deep sense of trust and communication with each other. Just this morning he was telling me about someone who responded to his online ad and I was nonchalantly giving him advice about her response to him. I just don't know at what level I can maintain this non-jealousy, and since I'm not the one interested in initiating a poly lifestyle, I don't have much impetus to work on it.
I often wonder if I too could participate in the poly lifestyle, and that it just happens that my boyfriend is making this transition before me. I'm not sure though. The timing makes it difficult.
I have noticed that most if not all the people on this "New to Polyamory" category are those who have initiated the poly lifestlyle for themselves. I can try to look harder, but haven't seen anyone who is trying to adjust to being poly because their partner wanted it, or to put in somewhat harsher terms, because their partner "dragged them into it".
I say that tongue in cheek by the way, and also because I can't really think of any other words to put it in.
So maybe people like me, the partners of poly-curious people, are rare to initiate this type of dialogue in the first place? Anyway, just thinking out loud now.