I wish I had some advice...but I am a newbie with bad luck so far. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug and say that I understand why you are feeling sad and confused. Doesn't sound like a fun situation or an easy one.
I will say that it sounds like he has made some steps without communicating with you and that concerns me. I have heard over and over on this site and truly believe that communication is hugely important when navigating these unique relationships. He has to be honest or it will never work.
Good luck. Don't do anything you are not okay with, it won't benefit anyone in the long run.