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Old 08-22-2011, 01:04 PM
Rayek Rayek is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Central Mass
Posts: 12

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
This case is more likely to be because Beth is a dyke and her gf is a dyke, and Rayek, while genderqueer, has a dreaded penis. There is a good deal of prejudice in dykeland against penises. (My gf miss pixie is a transwoman and we have experienced this first hand.)

I am sorry you're feeling excluded, Rayek.
This is a really interesting comment because we had a long chat about our whole situation together last night and things are becoming more clear. It turns out that she hasn't been into men, or me, for the past couple months. That I do have the dreaded penis, and that she loves me but isn't sure that our sex life can really recover.

This pains me to no end, especially because I've been trying to make everything work so hard and because she's admitted that she has bad rape trauma issues, and has only just begun to see someone about it. I'd hate to think that I will lose the love of my life because of some horrible person that did unspeakable things to her, but if she's not willing to try anymore then there's not much left. I love her more than I've loved anyone, but if she's unhappy and its my doing then I'll hate myself.

I called out from work today, I'm waiting to see if she just needs a break for a week or so for her to understand what she wants, or if we're going to wait until she's seen the therapist more times than just one, or if it's all over.

I hate biology, if I was a woman none of this would be happening right now. I'm scared. I know it's really hard to ask a lot of people I don't know for verbal support, but I just need to talk to someone. Someone who knows about genderqueer, lesbian, that sort of thing. If you're interested in helping, PM me today and we'll trade numbers. I just need perspective, I'm hurting a lot.
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