Have you tried doing a tag search here for "secondary" "metamour" and anything else you couldn't find elsewhere? There are a lot of threads with those tags, maybe you will find something useful.
This hasn't been very long it seems. I think if I were you I would keep at it and keep asking to meet. To me it is a red flag if one of my loves has a partner that doesn't want to meet me SOMETIME... I can see how they might want to wait a bit and work up to it, but never...? Nuh uh.
I agree that going about your business and not worrying about what you do is the best bet. It's her problem if you happen to meet.
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Last edited by redpepper; 08-22-2011 at 06:43 PM.