Thread: Falling In
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Old 08-22-2011, 05:10 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I haven't read what others have posted, so I might add later, but here is my thoughts on your first post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
Things progressed from there, and Barbie gave us permission to have sex but Ken refused because Barbie was wasted when she said that. We were all completely plastered. Ken and I were worked up and steamrolled Barbie with sexual pressure. I sensed she was not as hot and Ken and I, so I excused myself and we had normal interactions for the rest of the weekend.
Good call on not doin' it! Good for you... this could of made for a REALLY awkward weekend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
I am being forced to learn tact because of our different communication styles.
This is a bit of a red flag to me as it could get really crazy and you could get in a situation where you could get really hurt if you don't communicate the same way or at least similarly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
She feels threatened that there is a chance Ken could fall in love with me and want to run away.

He asked me if "theoretically" he were to come over after work, without Barbie, just to see me, would I be receptive. I told him anything we did together that hurt Barbie would make me hate myself and hate him. He has alluded to things like this twice and I have shot him down. Am I in denial that his libido is manageable and not to be taken seriously? How should I address this?
Its pretty common to feel threatened that she might lose him. This is also a red flag area for me... he is reaching out to you for sex, not love... she is even worried that "he might fall in love with you." Ya, pretty clear that he "doesn't" if he "might."

Again, good for you holding him back! I am really impressed with your firm handle on this situation. No, his libido is likely not in control... I would stay clear of him until the moment is right, if at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
Part of me is afraid this adventure will cause me to lose my boyfriend and my new couple if I'm not careful. My boyfriend/exboyfriend is concerned that I may be putting him at risk for STDs and that's justified. Ken has a risky roving cock.
Really good question... he has a roaming cock that doesn't practice safe sex? Ya, another good indication that he just wants to fuck you and will do anything to do so.... notch in the bed. yup, red flag.

I think I would use this energy for you and the boyfriend of which you speak and go that route personally.

Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
I am feeling blessed for this experience to grow in my primary relationship.
good perspective... it sounds like you and the BF are more of a sure thing. This little encounter where nothing happened has just been exacerbated by the fact that nothing happened... I would wonder that if he got to have sex with you if he would be stick around after.

Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
Barbie and Ken tell me that I am the best thing that's happened to their sex life in years.
Yup, I bet. And what is in this for you...? it doesn't seem like much other than some hot sex with a dirty cock. Ha! that is how I would see it anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
They are not in an open relationship but Ken's roving cock has forced the topic up lately.
Again with the roaming cock... he cheated in other words? Ya, he has no idea how poly works. In my experience of cheating it becomes REALLY easy to have empathy for others. Cheating is easy when no one knows about it... it eats away at the good part of a person in side and creates selfishness I think (and have experienced). He is thinking with his cock and thinking like a cheater, not about you or how wonderful you are AS A PERSON. Just about how delicious it would be to stick his cock in you. If you are okay with that, fine, but seeing it like it is might help... at least this is how I see it (having experienced some shit in my 41 years).
Quote:
Originally Posted by opo0606 View Post
It seems like we are walking a path toward polygyny and perhaps a scenario where Ken's cock is satisfied and Barbie doesn't feel threatened and I'm a total sex kitten with a sexy girlfriend to play dress up with. That would be amazing.
No you aren't. Sorry, but no you aren't. You are walking a path to being a play thing for their pleasure and likely will be tossed aside once you have all gotten off a few times. Again, if you are cool with that, great... just try not to read into it in the way you have been thinking of it.
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