Originally Posted by Bahalana
Lastly, while this could just be an insecurity that you need to work through, it could also be a new boundary for you. You're bound to have a few come and go over the years, as you grow and develop. Though they can often cause problems/drama if you discover one in the middle of a relationship because it will feel like you're changing the rules in the middle of the game.
I do feel a bit bad for bringing it up after so long, but honestly, once it became clear that what we were getting into was polyamory and not just "sex with friends" I had the inclination immediately. Not to say that I set it up as a boundary, or a personal need from the relationship from the start, but now that I've recognized that meeting her IS a boundary, have made that vocal to all parties involved, and still feel trapped by Mary's decision, and will have to be for who-knows-how-long, I can't see an end to it.
Actually, come to think of it, I had mentioned that I'd wanted to meet or hang out with Beth's "friends with benefits" before, and her sexual partners were always against the idea. So, this has come up before under different circumstances.