I can relate to the thing about your mother and causing people worry. My mother used to expect that I call her and talk for about an hour each day. And if I didn't answer my phone she would freak out completely. I, too, worry a lot about people getting angry over stuff like that. Last fall I finally weaned her off the phone convos. Now we talk a few times a week. It was difficult. I got a lot of accusations of me not loving her, etc.
I am terrified of falling in love with a vanilla. I'm not sure that I could engage in sex without any kink. O, my previous partner was a vanilla and that did not go well. I suppose though if you have multiple partners it isn't such a big deal. That's awesome though that she feels really fulfilled.
sounds like it's going well. I would imagine it just takes time to integrate all the relationships and gain a good collective rhythm.