View Single Post
  #3  
Old 08-20-2011, 09:16 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,784
Default

Funny, I was thinking about something similar last night. I had come across the transcript of Tristan Taormino's 2008 keynote address for a poly pride event in NYC. And it had me thinking that I would probably hate going to one of those things. Maybe I would if I had a lot of friends there, but it's not likely even if that were the case. Something like that is just too "manufactured" and conspicuous for me. I was recalling the few poly events I went to and how they didn't thrill me much at all. I remember one guy who started chatting with me by asking how I would feel about being a secondary. Sheesh. What a way to start a conversation and get to know someone.

Like NK, I don't identify as poly; I simply see myself as a human being who just wants to live my life as I see fit, and I truly dislike being seen as representative of any kind of "movement" or category. Certainly, I appreciate the existence of communities in which participants have multi-partner relationships because they will know what the heck I'm talking about if I need to vent, and I'm sure I can be helpful to others just because of my plain ol' relationship/life experience, rather than anything poly. I want to live in the moment and respond to what life brings me, and because of that I don't see the necessity of focusing my socializing or seeking potential lovers to the poly community. I still haven't yet reached the point where I'm juggling several ongoing and committed love relationships in my life, but labeling myself or being part of something more organized doesn't really seem very useful to me.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 08-21-2011 at 08:16 AM.
Reply With Quote