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Old 08-20-2011, 06:37 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
Default Division in the poly community

When I first came to this forum I thought that the only poly was my own. I remember being floored that some of the activities I had participated in ie. swinging, dating, open relationship, etc. were also called poly by some. In my confusion and frustration I felt "lumped in" to a community that I didn't want to be part of as I was then on the path to achieving my own personal goal of creating poly family.

I was made to realize that others do not wish to be "lumped in" to a community that is more poly fi, poly family orientated. They were, in fact, on the other end of the spectrum to me.... I thought that everyone was striving to be in a poly family and that swinging, open, etc. was the way to get there for most. Naive, I know.... but then we all start in ignorance right?

Someone during that time and in my numerous discussions here and in my own community, told me that there is a divide in the community. One that is sometimes divided by age and stage, but not necessarily. One that is divided between "child free" and those with children. I was told at the time by someone in the then small community here, that the only reason that they hung out with me was because there is no one else to hang out with... that small communities have to manage on their own and those that are in them just kinda have to put up with each other.

What are your thoughts on that? How can we come together? Is it necessary to come together? What kind of negotiations can we start with in order to have a relationship with each other? What do we need to understand about each other in order to be accepting of each others path?
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