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Old 08-20-2011, 05:03 PM
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justlost justlost is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rocky Mtn. Front Range
Posts: 38

a name... I've decided to call B "Pixie"... because she is

Pixie is a fairy sculptor, she is also very small with whiskey Irish curly crazy hair and a wonderful sense of humor and mischievousness...

So today I am going over to talk with Pixie while Khas sleeps, I figure this is a good time to make sure our friendship is ok while trying to figure out what we want individually and what we feel about what Khas wants.

Part of me truly hates this... I see her getting closer to Khas and I want to rip her hair out.. that's MY man dammit .... not healthy.. and I have always had very strict boundaries about friends and men... my forever friend and I figured it out when we were 10 or 11.. the "rules" were simple... if you like the way that boy looks... I don't.. ever... even if you are eventually past that he is forever off limits.. we saw boys mess up other girls friendships and decided then before we were involved with males that we needed rules... and we have lived by them with each other always... Pixie and I have never discussed anything like that.. when we met we were both single moms and college students.. she and her son are both disabled, her son severely so and I soon started working for them both... and anyway a friendship grew.

So large part of me is angry with Pix for breaking the "rules" ... I know its irrational and so I am dealing with it on my own.

Trying hard not to let my personal ups and downs interfere with my relationship with either Khas or Pix... I *want* to close off all feeling in my heart for either of them.. this hurts and pain is bad... but I love them and I also want to live with them.... I decided and now I will walk the painful path to a more full life and a more *present* me.....
Dance in the rain...
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