Maybe it's confusing because you feel like you should be feeling the positive feelings from your crush and relationship, but instead you can only feel the grief right now? Or maybe your grief is getting in the way of your good relationship feelings but the crush is still going strong? Or maybe you feel like the grief *should* be the only thing you feel, yet you still feel the other things just fine? Or maybe your emotions jump all over the place all the time? You're not giving us much to go on here!
No matter what it is, though, just remember that your feelings are ok. Ask the people around you to be aware that you're feeling weird and sad, so that they're not totally confused too.