I haven't heard anything about F's husband. Where's he at? It doesn't sound like he knows what his wife has been doing. I don't care how much he has neglected himself and how little attention she gets, is she cheating! If so, you have way more work to do!
This isn't just about you and the wife my friend. This is about all four of you.
Sorry, but I think you have to check your NRE at the door, take a breath and figure out realistically and rationally what you can achieve.
Your wife's comfort should be number one, next is F's husband comfort and knowing what is going on, if indeed F has even let her husband know. Next is getting together with F to decide to start something, then is to get together with her husband all three of you and your wife all three of you.
You got some work to do to go about this properly. Good luck! If you succeed then there will be a lot of challenges, but it can be sweet.
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-25-2009 at 05:59 PM.