Trying to make it right!
Like Sweetie, I too am so tired of drawing lines in the sand! We drew lines, established boundaries and "guidelines" because we thought we were doing the right things. Sweetie never asked to be here, I asked her! Tommy and I had tried the swinging lifestyle and found it hollow. Every swinger I met said the same thing, they were looking for that 'perfect' scenario, the couple they could connect with in every aspect. No one found it!
Sweetie and I have been freinds for some 15 years, she was there for me in some of the toughest times in my life. The more she was there for me, the more I loved her. I thought...and said to Tommy, " I just love her, can I take her home?" To be clear neither I or Sweetie are in any way shape or form Bi, I just loved and love her so much I wanted her to be more and more in my life!
Many many discussions brought us to the next phase, the well what if....the fantasizing of what could be... None of us were looking for the evolving that took place, it just was. The first couple of years of our new found relationship, I wanted Sweetie to just dive in and we would all live 'happily ever after' I was the one living in denial of what was going on im my life! Sweetie was always honest and committed to our new found relationship. When she jumped off the fence, I wasted no time jumping on it. I allowed my insecurities and doubts to take hold on everything I thought. (Dumb ass!) I didnt know what made me or why I felt the way I did, thats been a very recent dawning on my part. The only thing Sweetie and Tommy are guilty of is loving me, I didnt choose to see it that way! Plain and simple, I was afraid! I was also wrong!!!
There are no assumptions of love, we all KNOW we love one another with everything we are. If we didnt why do we fight so hard to keep it, and we want to keep it. We have done many things wrong, and forget sometimes, to focus on what's right. We have forgotton to see the silver lining, and focused on the cloud!
Bottom line for me is, I have my two very best freinds in the world as my partners. I love them both equally, and I know they love me! No we haven't done things 'right' in the past, all we can do is leave yesterday behind, and live for today and make tomorrow even better!
Sweetie and Tommy.....I LOVE YOU!