View Single Post
  #27  
Old 10-25-2009, 01:41 AM
Sunshinegrl's Avatar
Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default

Im gonna step Off the "think about the third" box for a bit. V asked for advice on HER feelings. Suddenly this has again turned into a "think about the third" Post. V, I can totally understand where you are coming from. As I said In my PM..I have been there too. Recently. Im still there in many ways. I love Aussielover very much and I have considered her feelings in my thought process. And tried to share my thoughts and feelings with her to the best of my ability, When and If I could. BUT that doesnt change how I feel about certain things. I can honestly say that I was 100% happy with EVERYTHING not that long ago. Suddenly LOTS of things felt very wrong for me. I didnt have any control over that. Its just how I felt. Doesn't mean I dont love and want AL here. We as a "primary" couple have undergone a HUGE amount of change. I believe there is going to be a grieving period. That doesnt mean that the triad is in danger.

I resisted posting on here about them too because I didnt feel comfortable putting MY insecurities out there for all to see. V, Your allowed to have these feelings. I think its a natural part of the process that comes along with a poly relationship. Its Not easy going from being the "one and Only" to having to share almost every part of your life with another person. Its DAMN hard. And you are really only babies in this poly world ( like us also). There is gonna be a transition period. And your human after all.

If your feelings For Anne have changed or if your feeling unsure... Then Speak to her. Be honest. But dont for a second think that your needs and your feelings are not important. You have the right to be heard and listened too. I feel that the "primary" relationship needs to be stable for this to work. IF that relationship does not feel right/stable then I believe that the stability of the Triad is at risk. I know that not EVERY poly relationship is the same. But in essence the Key to the solution is the same. Communication. and being heard and understood.

I wish you all the best of luck. I hope things work out!
__________________
I donít get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here...
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am
The luckiest..
~ Ben Folds five ~
Reply With Quote