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Old 10-25-2009, 01:19 AM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175
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Im Jools

i am 25, I am a support worker i enjoy caring for people i love art and i write a lot of poetry. i am half way through training to be a person centred therapist

I have been with C for almost 6 years, we have been poly for nearly 3,

we had discussed an open relationship as a possibilty from the start, but skirted around it never doing anything through fear,
then i met M
i feel madly in love,
that was a disastor i cheated on C, i felt guilty and confessed, i did it again, he found out, we decided that we didn't want to break up and it was time to try open relationship as last ditch attempt to save our very fragile relationship,
M was as good as married so i was like a mistress for a year,
(this is not a good way to go about polyamoury!!!)

things ended with M

C and i took 6 months to heal our fragile relationship and decide where we wanted to go, we talked to friends who have been married for 13 years and who called themselfs polyamorous and we realised that this was the direction we needed to go,
we reserached, and we talked A LOT
and we decided to date
Chris met D, and I met A
then i fell pregnant, and A and I broke up,
at 4 months i lost our baby boy,

after somewhat healing from this loss i dated somemore but nobody could ever fill the hole that M had left, dispite the disastor of the relationship i had loved him, and so i decided to talk to C about possibility of having M as part of my life except this time not as an affair but out in the open,

i got back in touch with M who was in process of a break up
and we are now talking as friends, and i am working very hard with C to resolve the issues he has around the initial betrayal

and then
as if its not complicated enough
my friend sets me up on a date with a man that i met a year previous who i was attracted too but who i never approuched and something amazing happens
i fall madly in love, he meets C they get on, and now i realise i have these 2 amazing relationships with men that are loving, open minded and wonderful,
and my friendship with M continues so there is possibility that i may bring a third into my life, tentitivly,

unfortunatly C and his girlfriend D broke up after a year so at the moment we are like a V,

but to add more complication
i also have very very close female friend Y who we both care for and love deeply, this is more than a friendship but its not a relationship, its just love, something i can't explain, that both C and I feel for her,

and yaa
if you followed that then congrats
hell i can't even follow it myself

but the most important thing is at least 90 percent of time we are all happy!! so there is so much love around me and i realise how lucky i am, yes its hard work but its worth it,

Jools
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