Oh and one other thing. Eventually you will be able to appreciate that he can experience that spiritual high with her.
I kind of enjoy the fact that Cookie is such a music nut. I love music, but I have little attention span or ability to tolerate some of Karmas music. And that boy can talk and talk and talk about it. It's not that I don't enjoy doing that with him, but it is nice that he has someone else too. So I kind of get a break.
And it's nice knowing that he'll be with her on Tuesdays. It means I have an entire day without him here that I can get homework done and he's not staring at me trying to be patient while waiting for the computer.
There will come a time when all of this can be looked at from another perspective. Right now it is just so raw it is damn hard to even think about it let alone see it differently. It takes a lot of self work, but I think you'll pull through just fine.
And remember it's okay to take a break from it. It's healthy to do it. I did my most helpful healing once I started working. Because I wasn't thinking myself in circles and it gave my brain and my heart a chance to recover before I went at it again. And just like an athlete that can come back from a break and do 100 times better than before, your brain and your heart can adapt, heal and come up with better solutions once they've had a chance to think about something else.