You know, it occurs to me that maybe I am not understanding something here. Or maybe others aren't understanding things. We were in a triad, with the three of us being in a relationship. The agreement was that we would be faithful to the three of us. The agreement was also that we would decide as a triad (living together sleeping in the same bed, about as triad as it gets) to include ANYONE else into the relationship. I fond out that she was talking to and having computer sex with someone who she is making plans with to be together (even so far as to spoken about him coming to stay in the area and them not telling hubby and I) who she and he are "saving up their money" to be together secretly while hubby and I financially support her and her 5 year old daughter is suddenly seen as us beign selfish.
Is it selfish for two people who choose monogamy to be upset when they find out the partner they agreed to be monogamous with isn't? Is it considered hypocritical to be upset that we were spending our money to further our "family" and she was saving her money so we would continue to spend ours on her? Maybe I am wrong and we were wrong to assume that someone telling us that they are faithful and loves us is telling the truth.