so I'm confused and afraid
I think I jumped in to soon...My boyfriend of 5 years had not so recently want to go into a polyamory relationship, and because I love him so much, I jumped in and agreed, forgetting my own jealousy. But later on as he signed on for the website fetlife, with me following behind, my jealousy hit ten fold. I seen him commenting girls pictures and stuff about how beautiful they are and it hurt because he had become distant for a while.
We talked about that and though it still happens time to time I became friends with some of the girls. But, seeing so many girls and knowing that our friends are going to be right about me one day blow out on him because he "did" another girl other then me has gotten me thinking that I jumped in without thinking about my own feelings (which is what I usually do when it comes to him).
I have also been feeling down I have bad low self-esteem thanks to ignorant people in my life and I'm also very attach-y when it comes to someone I love since the last to used me and I'm afraid of loosing my current boyfriend.
but I've seen a picture him and his friend took and they look like a better couple then we do, and it gets me a bit jealous to see the pic on both Facebook and fetlife.
and by no means do I want to leave him, he's the best thing that happened to me and I want one day to have a family with this man, but I don't think I want the Polyamory in it. and I don't want to seem like a bitch and tell him to change lifestyles when it seems to make him happy....