View Single Post
Old 08-18-2011, 05:03 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,084

Originally Posted by CranberryStardust View Post
So this isn't normal? I guess I thought it was common.
Well it is common for people new to poly to have these sorts of "rules." You and yr partner can do this, but not that. Kiss but not make out. Make out but no groping. And on down the line. (Not saying having rigid rules is healthy or workable, I think it's a newbie mistake.)

But when youre all 3 in the bed, kissing and groping and fingering and sucking, and anal penetration is allowed, I find it insulting his penis in your vagina is off limits. You 3 need to sit down and talk this out. Don't agree to just talk to her, make sure he's in on the conversation too.

I can understand why it would be different to see your husband mess around with someone than actually have sex but why would they ask me not to have it with anyone else? Is there any good, non selfish reason?
Nope, just fear and jealousy.

I guess my mono upbringing, nature and past is what keeps me mum on these issues. It feels very strange to even consider saying to another woman, "I need and want to have sex with your husband." It's the ultimate no-no in the non-poly world, which is where I am from.
Yes, sounds like all 3 of you are new to this, and have unrealistic expectations. Stand up for yourself, woman!

I suppose there is nothing wrong with seeing where It goes and hoping for things to become more even and open. I want to have sex with him so badly...but I won't be able to enjoy it if I think she is going to be angry or hurt. I just don't know how long I can be content with just fooling around.

As a side note, she is pregnant and just found out she is high risk and can't have sex for 3months. So as it stands now, ain't nobody getting laid.
Oh dear. Good luck. Don't let them push you around. She's treating you like an object: "You wanna come suck some cock tonight?" Bleh.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving Pixie (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom for 3+ years

Last edited by Magdlyn; 08-18-2011 at 05:06 PM.
Reply With Quote