Thanks for your input
I can definitely see that. His main issue is that he's used to it being between friends and the two times I've been interested in someone that things could actually happen with, it was people who were far away from him and who he didn't know much if at all.
Note that while he's still not comfortable with anything relating to my ex, he is supportive of my giving it a try with J. And the reason I'm holding off isn't for Seamus's sake but J's and his friend's...
But yeah, I understand why you'd have this impression. I'm glad he tells me about how he feels rather than bottling up at the very least, and I do feel we made a lot of progress with J. He was fine with it before the whole thing exploded so it's not like he became ok only when it was less real again.
Thanks very much for your input