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Old 08-18-2011, 01:19 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,555

Originally Posted by CranberryStardust View Post
Well the weird thing is that she is ALL about me hooking up with him. She loves to watch and talk about it.
Hmmm, let's use our words precisely here. You and the guy aren't allowed full sexual intercourse, penis in vagina sex, but you're allowed to do... what? Handjobs, fingering? Oral? He can put a toy in your vagina? Are you and the guy "allowed" to kiss?

Sounds like this "poly" couple has rules between them they have agreed to. Do you? You get a say, you aren't their toy or pet. You're just as valuable and fully human as they are.

She has never acted jealous or insecure or put out. Overall she is cool as hell and I adore her.
But do you trust that she values you as a human being and not just a pet, or worse, a puppet?

I feel outnumbered, which obviously I am. I feel like as the "addition" and the new one, I am supposed to just follow their lead and abide by whatever rules they have. They have done this before and I haven't.
Re-examine this. Your feelings matter just as much as theirs.' Yes, you are outnumbered. This is a common problem with triads, when a hot bi babe enters into a relationship with an established couple. You're expendable and have little to no say on how things go. If you have good self esteem, this arrangement won't satisfy you for long.

They are good good in fact that I'd like to f*** them both LOL. Is that so wrong?
You can say fuck here. No, it's not wrong. Tell them. Work it out. Ask him directly for his phone number, tell them you think it's fair you get to have an equal relationship, which includes one on one time with her guy, and see what happens. Brutal honesty now is important, rather than letting things fester, letting them think you're 100% fine with her controlling ways.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
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