Whoa...I can relate! I just entered into a relationship with a couple for the first time, but I have nagging concerns that I am opening myself up and hoping for something meaningful and real...and they might only ever see me as a fun sexual "add on" to their real life.
I'm tired of being used in general. It's fine if everyone involved is using each other in the same way, but hurts when you're the one wanting more. When I was twenty, being an object was fun and almost flattering...now it makes me feel kind of hollow. Like I'm not real, you know? Literally an object.
I hope you find something healthy and fulfilling and all the love you need. There surely are couples out there who sincerely wish to open more than just their bedrooms to girls like us.