Thank you all. This is honestly my first experience with jealousy. It isn't something I have ever experienced in a relationship. I am really trusting when I am with someone, the basic fact at the end of the night I know they are coming home with me keeps me from being jealous. Though now this is still true because it is only when she is gone.
I have met the guy. A couple weeks ago when he was in town teaching. I like the guy. I can't deny that. He is a good dancer, good teacher, and I get along with him. The only problem I have with him is that in the dance community he is known to just sleep around with girls. I have no idea if shares the feelings she does, I would hate to see him hurt her.
I understand the poly thing, I have love for almost everyone I have ever met in my life. This is the part that makes me think I might be able to do this. I also understand dating a mono is a scary thought for people who are poly. I also spoke with her on this last night. All she did was roll over and kiss me then said, "Babe I am falling for you, I want to be with you, you have absolutely nothing to worry about". This made me extremely comfortable and happy. This was prompted after a message I received on here telling about how mono people are not appreciated in the community and that I will probably not have a lot of luck with her or on this board.
On the moving on subject. I have given myself a time line. Right now she defines us as just seeing each other, even though it has been almost 4 months. I am not asking her to give up her other guy. If she does in the long run that will be a decision she comes to. But I will require a decision to be made on us in the relationship factor. I don't want to leave for deployment as the guy she was seeing. I know at that point it will drive me crazy. So I have told myself if that is still how she sees us by then, it will be over.
I really do appreciate the advice. For now I will continue to talk to her, read my books, and read as much as I can on here. Oh ya and tonight is the poly practical out here. So I am excited and nervous about going to that.
Last edited by Allstar; 08-18-2011 at 10:34 AM.