A tough road to hoe
Its only been 6 weeks but already there has been many ups and downs.
I met Stew online over a year ago and really liked his profile knowing that he was only interested in a triad I thought he would be cool to be friends with. DH met Jenn on another site by happenstance around the same time and they because friends and she was editing for them. we invited them to a party and it was just the right time and place for me because I was actually very interested in being their 3rd but Jenn liked DH and talked Stew to be open to the idea of a quad so we moved forward.
Stew is young, 22. he never thought of himself as poly really. he got together with Jenn knowing full well that she wanted a gf. his compromise was to agree to a triad situation because the thought of her being with someone else without him threatened him. but years went by and no girlfriends. and Im sure this is how this came to be and why the quad is so hard for him. he sent a mass text to us all that he really does want this and that it's the perfect situation and that he does like both of us but he gets these emotional bursts even though he knows we are not a threat for him. now he has not been verbally abusive but little things have occurred like
he refused to leave the house when i was suppose to come over for some alone time and she had to come to my place which was no fun with a house full of rowdy kids and my mom who is visit from out of town underfoot. or just being very clingy on her in general. we had sexual boundaries laid out because we are new and easing into this. he and i have gone to the limits of the sexual boundaries a couple weeks ago and when DH and Jenn did last night he was pretty hot about it.
I really like him but the more possessive or whiny he becomes the more put off i am. i feel a bit better today as we talked about it. I can relate, my first poly experience with my ex was the stuff Jerry Springer is made of so i applaud him for being as mature as he has been but it seems like he uses his past abuse as a way to manipulate or as an excuse for his feelings. I dont think hes doing it on purpose though.
I do really like both of them and hope it could work out for all but he knows that I plan to continue seeing Jenn and she wants to still see DH if he cant get on board for this. its just been a lot of work in the meantime.