For some reason DH and I are lady magnets. I wasnt interested at all in a triad or live in situation. while Im bi and I do enjoy having fun here and there i have yet to fall for someone and I refuse to settle. so it's usually DH that goes on seeing them.
The couple we are seeing now actually started out looking for a 3rd but after years of that not panning out for them they were open to a quad. funny because I was actually originally just going to date them myself but the lady took a liking to DH. probably opened a whole lot of complications since the male is having some jealousy issue with his wife getting close to my husband,
When I was married to my ex his big dream was a triad while I had preferred just to date separately. besides some very casual encounters with friends of mine it never panned out and never would because he wanted polyfi which kind of seems to me to go against the point of being poly. he's also not very warm and social and quite honestly had no game, unlike my dh who is very charming.